Reflection Part II: Crossroads
I find that it’s easy to fall victim to our own delusions, fake our way through life by brushing things off and thinking that EVERYTHING IS OKAY. But, how do we move forward and live positively if we don’t know how to look at the tough situations for what they are? How do we appropriately appreciate the good when we can’t acknowledge the things that need “fixing” in our life. I’ve come to believe that part of living my life to the fullest is that I allow myself to be a work in progress… that means that I’m taking an active role in the well being of my internal and external health.
Personally, I find it too easy to be swept away by my daily demands and conveniently forget to check in with myself. It’s laziness on my part.
A good symptom that often pops up is a dissatisfaction that I feel deep within my core. It’s often silent and easy to brush off. .. but, it does reach the surface eventually.
And, when it does… it no longer is a drill. It can’t be silenced and we have to deal with it. It’s real, it’s life. It’s everything you’ve allowed to break cutting at you with sharpened shards. It’s harder to pick up and put back together. Now, I know that it’s not always THIS magnificently dramatic… but little messes tend to roll up into bigger messes.
Now, I’m the type that believes that New Year’s resolution aren’t a cliché or a waste of time… and have made quite throughout the years. I’ve always found it a healthy form of realization forged into a needed change in an area of my life. And, that’s okay to me. This year, I found myself with NO RESOLUTION… but I have found many things to reflect on and continue to work on from the past years.
A conversation with my husband comes to mind… he said that I can’t allow myself to be afraid of making people mad. I just have to be myself. It hit home. Out of all of the resolutions I’ve made… that’s the one I always thought I’ve already worked on. Wrong. It’s something that resonates within me. I am finding my voice.
How can I talk about confidence and things that are real, when I don’t allow myself the luxury of going off script sometimes. It’s needed… a load has been shed. And, the discomfort has started.
And, I thank him for that. His honesty cuts through the haze of my bravado. So, here’s me… talking about something uncomfortable, but necessary. Join me for the ride will ya?